A finding.

This is something I wrote when I was trying out creative-writing-now.com's "30 days of inspiration".

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"I really wish you were you here, mom!"
As I stood by my mother's tombstone, every last memory of hers came rushing back to me. I was 6 when she died. I don't remember a lot about her and my dad prefers to stay quite.
I turned around to leave when I saw something that was to remain with me for the rest of my life.
"David?" He turned towards me.
David was a great friend of mine. He lived next door and we practically grew up together. Yet, I never knew he had lost someone.
"Oh." was all he could manage.
"What-?" I didn't know what to ask! How can you just someone why they were in a cemetery!
He smiled at my shoes. "I thought you came here only Wednesdays and Saturdays."
"It's her birth anniversary."
He nodded.
"Is there something you'd like to tell me?" As far as I know, he always told me everything. It would be shocking to anyone who knows us that he was here and I didn't know why.
He didn't speak for a while. Then, he looked at my face and started, "You know my mother's husband? He's not my dad!" WHAT? "My dad is there." He pointed at the tombstone he was in front of.
"How long have you known this?"
"Not a lot. My mom doesn't know that I know... Let's just leave."
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We didn't talk until we reached his car. I tapped on his shoulder when he was about to get in.
"I know it's easy to say but, it'll be okay." I took his hand. And he looked at me the way he never had. My heart was beating like a drum and there was a collection of butterflies in my stomach.
He leaned in towards me and I had my very first kiss.

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I hope you liked it and I also hope you'll comment. And follow me to know when my posts are up. 

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A dream

Okay, so I know it's not a Saturday, my usual day of uploading but I just couldn't wait to put it up.

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So, I texted my best friend from 9 years ago

(I think I even thought I was gonna marry him one day) saying "Hi. Remember me?" Now, I'm not the sort of person who would ever text somebody first. I hate that feeling of vulnerability. But last night, I had the most incredible dream, which, yes, had him in it. I'm not gonna explain the details (no, it wasn't anything dirty, you pervs) but it was basically us meeting again after all those years and just talking. It felt so great. Like I had a friend again.

The weird thing is the dream was so vivid, so clear, so real, I just didn't wanna wake up. I just wanted to stay like that. And I thought to myself, "Why did I never talk to him before?"

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Hey! Comment below giving me feedbacks. I would love for you to do that. 

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The Bigger Question

"So, what do you wanna be when you grow up?"

"A doctor!"

"An engineer!"

"Lawyer!!"

"Teacher?"

I think I answered along these lines as a child myself. But, so did the rest of my friends, like every other Indian child. Surely, there were a few who gave answers like "Journalist" or "Talk show host" and stuff. But they never really wanted it either. They just said it to be cool. Look them up now and you'll see them preparing for either the engineering or the medical entrance examination, like every other Indian child.

In fact, I, myself, am preparing for the medical examination. But truthfully, when I started, it wasn't just for the hell of it. I truly and seriously wanted to be a doctor one day; to be looked at with the utmost respect and hope. But now, 5 months later, I'm sick of it. Honestly, I'd still like to see myself in that entire House MD scenario but would I really?

I'm the sort of person who went through school trying to never mug up things but only understand and comprehend and learn, unlike my colleagues. And I was proud of myself because of that. Little did I know it was gonna come back to bite me in my a** in a few years.

You can't get through 11th and 12th grade without knowing how to mug up, especially if you're doing the pre medical course. Medicine, as far as I know, is all about the remembering. And yet, somehow, I feel like I'm not good at remembering stuff. 

As time went by, I started realizing medicine was not for me. Somehow, I started to feel like this never ending job was not what I was meant to do. Don't get me wrong, I don't particularly believe in karma or anything but I do believe that I don't want to be where life is currently taking me (or I'm taking myself). And as appealing as being a doctor sounds, I'm not up for it. I know a lot of people will label me as a "procrastinator" now, but if you used to be someone who loved studying, so much so that you relied on studying to calm yourself down and now you just throw the book away with frustration half way through your reading, you just know something is wrong.

So, maybe I don't do medicine. Then what? What am I supposed to do? Maybe I could get into research, but I don't know how much our institutes have to offer. I might end up having to leave the country for it. 

I realize everyone goes through this in life, asking themselves what to do with their life but usually they're in college already or even graduated. But I'm in high school! Maybe it's a good thing that I'm already questioning it though. At least I won't end up having learnt something in school just to end up working in a completely unrelated job, like many people I know. But it's not like I can take a break, get relieved from student burnout (if that's a thing) and get to know myself and what I wanna do in life. And the reason for that on most levels is the society. But I guess THAT'S a completely different issue in itself.

So, now, I have to sit down for 9+4 hours everyday, doing something I don't enjoy or appreciate. 

Then, I guess the bigger question is "What do I enjoy and appreciate?" The answer: I don't know.

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The Intro

Hello, everybody!

I am Anjitha.

I have been wanting to create a blogging site for a really long time but I was always too scared. But NOW I am FINALLY here!

I'm 16 years old and have a pretty messed up life.

I always feel like the weirdest things happen to me. SO, I thought I'd share some of them with the internet and maybe have you be entertained by my misery. 

Also, since I'm a high schooler (just one more year!),I thought I'll also write about things that help me go through school, surviving along those back biting scum bags (yes, I'm fine). 

Now that that's been cleared, let's move on. I'll try to write once a week. Don't kill me if I don't.

Also, I'd really appreciate it if you guys commented with your feedbacks and suggestions!

See ya!

PS: I know some of these words are like made up but you gotta bear with me for this one.

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